From: Elizabeth Cresswell
Subject: Greetings.

Hum...I do not actually know why people are so angry with you, but I imagine
that if you spend your entire time on the internet, and reading letters from
people you know not, and reply with such...art, I should say, for I have
never seen anyone use the word fuck in such unique ways, you must have
absolutly no life whatsoever. Seriously. Is this what you do all day? Write
letters that no doubt make you feel better about your shattered self esteem?
Doas it make you feel less pathetic? Or is it diffirent? Masturbate at the
image of huge homosexuals puncturing each other's rectums? Then proceed to
eat microwhavable wienners?

And your face is making me ill. I mean this as no insult.
Women must be such myth to you, nay? I cannot imagine one, or anyone, for
that matter, looking at your diseased ridden face and looking twice...unless
out of sheer, morbid wonder. Well I shall cease about your face, for no
doubt you have heard one and a million insults about it. With such mold
growing there, I assume early in your childhood you absolutly had to force
yourself not to care. It is hopeless really.

Anyways, on with my question. Were you beaten and raped by your father as a
child? Did you wet the bed each night? Tell me, do you hear the thousands of
voices, female voices, laughing and mocking behind your back? Because you
know, if you spend your time on the internet all day, you must have no
social life in any way. (internet ot no, I do not think you ever could) You
keep saying you have had women and such, but it is only over the internet...
You probably tremble like a sick pup at the sound of any women voice and
fall to your knees, crying of sheer and utter despair. I am sure even the
rotten corpse of Erzsebet Bathory could not look at you twice.

Is this your futile attempt to regain your posture, control your rage? This
pathetic insulting of people, whom all probably forget what you said, when
they are asleep, after making love? And you sit there, and read and
reply...Oy...Surely you must be on dissability or some such thing, to spend
your time attempting to find an inner meaning to your worthless existence.
And what a pathetic attempt it is.

For everything you have said has made me laugh to no end, and I do not see
how people could be so mad at you. I cannot wait for your reply!
My point here is, give up. You may think this helps you, but there is only
one thing that can help your miserable life, all the years of being shunned,
ridiculed, belittled, raped, abused, preached too, beaten up, fucking
animals, masturbating 8829 times a day...only one thing.
Suicide. Break a bottle, and open your veins...let the pain flow free, the
humility dissapear, and the people will laugh no longer. Some might urinate
on your grave, dig up your carcass and ripp it ti pieces and throw it in
front of a train, yes...But it will be over! Your pathetic little hobby,
wich inside, you must realize is quite pathetic and meaningless, will no
longer give you the false sense of strength and security wich you think
redeems all the years of fatherly abuse! Anyways, no one loves you, it is
the only choice for one such as you. You will not be missed.

You know why there is no one like you...They all kill themselves. Be wise,
for once, and do this. Take your miserable existence, and die...die...
Post your free ad now! Yahoo! Canada Personals

Dear Piece of Frozen Canadian Socialist Shit,

First off, EH, I noticed you're a member of "Yahoo! Canada Personals,"
EH. A wonderful place where you can date a moose or yet another
alcoholic Canuck, right, EH? HAHAHAHA!!!! Canada Personals!

Now, let's dissect your fucking failed "attempt" at "classical writing"
by pointing out your stupid, fucking, 3rd grade spelling errors, you
Canuck Cunt:

HA! What a fucking dumb-fuck Canadian attempt at intelligence!
Typical of a citizen of a country that is too chicken-shit to join in
our country's campaign to rid the world of terrorists -- you mother
fucking, cock sucking, hockey-loving, faggot!

Go shove a keg of Molson Gold up your back-bacon lined pussy,
okay, EH? Then run buck-ass naked across a hockey rink, do a
split, then slide into the net, leaving a golden trail of Canadian
pussy juice for the other pussy Canucks to lick, you cowardly
Canadian whore!

Abusively,
Bobby

From: John Rydall
Subject: my grandma quifs out better looking things than you
The inside of my grandma's pussy looks better than you dick-knob.My foreskin after I'm done jerking off still isn't as red as you face.Who wears Spalding you fucking poor ass!I wish my dick was as thick as your fucking glasses queerbait!

Dear John (which also means a fuckin' shithouse),

So, you've actually seen the inside of your Grandma's pussy? She must
either have a Grand Canyon-sized cunt, or you've got a fuckin' pinhead to
get inside there, right, goose-fuck?

Go fuck a meat grinder, pig-fucker. Then shove the left-overs up your
semen filled ass, you poor excuse for an elephant Tampax.

Abusively,

Bobby

From: KrazyJaeBabe@aol.com
Subject: Chickens Which really came first, the chicken or the egg?
Jae Jae

Dear Possessor of a Queer Name,

Neither the chicken nor the egg came first, whore.

*I* came first -- all over your zit-covered face, bitch.

Abusively,
Bobby

From: norma bachley
Subject: ik
You could at least show a little respect for the girls that take the time to write you. You are so rude and I suspect a racist and bigot as well. It is that time of the month for me and you are pissing me off....what I pulled out of my pussy looks better than the red blotches and pimples all over your mug you useless piece of cow dung. Get a life and do us a favor....rim your own asshole or get your mother to do it for you.... PIG.

Dear fungus-covered CUNT,

Respect? For women?! Blow me, bitch. There are only two
things that women are good for:

1) Blowing me.
2) Blowing me again!


So go back in the kitchen and cook me a little meal while I
shove my dick up your Teflon coated ass, whore bait. And
next time you email me remember to fuckin' address me as
MASTER. You got that, bitch?

Abusively,

Bobby

From: norma bachley
Subject: asshole

abusive bobby....
you have a foul mouth and sure know how to upset a lady....yes, asshole I'm
a lady and for your information a good lady....buttocks breath.....If I ever
got my fingernails around your pitiful little nut sack I would rip it out
and make you eat it so there would be no chance of you reproducing your
lizard genes, you ugly bastard. Now, do me a favor, roll over and kiss your
goat goodnight....enema face !!!

Dear Bleeding, Scab-Eating, Dildo-Probed CUNT,

Oh, sure, you are definitely a "lady." I mean, come on, whore,
if anyone just re-reads your message to me they'll easily see the
"qualities of a lady" just spewing out everywhere -- you dick-sucking,
clit-fingering, skin-graft covered, she-male!

Now, be a good concubine (that's means "whore," you dumb bitch)
and go brush your teeth with Ajax. See, I like a squeeky clean dick once
I shoot my load down your well-used throat, you well-worn fuck-slave.

Abusively,
Bobby

From: norma bachley
Subject: DORK

you nasty penguine faced bitch...why don't you and
your brother pee wee herman go back to the sleezy all
nite porn theatres and jack one another off like you
used to instead of bothering the normal people of the
world?.......pig fucker!!

Dear Lizard-Fucking Piece of Menstrual Muccous,

What the fuck do you mean when you mumble that I am "bothering the normal people of the world," you callous
cunt? Did I ever write to you, bitch? Did I ever fucking force your duck-like eyes to read my column? Huh, whore?
YOU wrote to ME, you scum-chugging, Panamaian street shit! Why don't you go gargle with some crushed glass, then
give yourself a Drain-o enema, okay, you little fuck toy? And then, after this much needed cleansing, take a digital
picture of your pussy and email it to me.... this way I can line my canary's cage with it, you fucking mother-humping
bucket of camel cum!

Abusively,
Bobby

From: norma bachley
Subject: pig
bobby...

bobby fits you perfect...head bobber is more like it scrounge face. how do
you expect me to talk like a lady when you call me all them names?
shithooks....why don't you put a bag over that zebra ass face of yours and
crawl back into your mama's ass where you came from....dildo

Dear Pigeon Excrement,

Juggle-suck my balls, you Tazmanian bush-whore! You're the only (alleged) "lady" I know who routinelky corn-rows her back! You mind-bendingly wretched piece of gopher shit. Take my advice, you camel-cunt, and stick a straw in your sister's ass and suck until you turn as blue as your balls, you pus-filled sack of bat sperm!

Abusively,
Bobby

From: EDDY S

how come your e mail addy that way ? fucker
Ess13

Dear Braindead Slug,

how come you write like retard ? you semen-swallowing chimp

Actually, fuck-nuts, emails like yours make my day. I know your
type. You're the type of fucking idiot that actually gets out of the
shower to take a piss. My advice: go home and give yourself a
Crazy Glue enema, you pitbull fucking, snake sucking, bitch!

Abusively,

Bobby

From: marria gentry
Subject: SCALE FACE
Oh my goodness !!!! I have seen "ugly" but then again there is "you". Never have I seen a more putrid, pitiful, sickening, scale faced pig as you. What species of fish do you derive from..."CARP"...not only the ugliness but you are one smart assed penis face...piss off.

Dear Lactating Sow,

Speaking of Carp, how's that new "George Foreman Vaginal Enema" I sent you working out, bitch? At least
I've got the fuckin' balls to show my photo, cunt, unlike some fuck-holes. You know why there are no photos of
you, ass-lick?.... because your puss would scare the fuckin' emulsion off of the paper!

Now go off and do something useful -- like corn-rowing your back, you maggot gargling, middle-class, Palestinian whore!

Abusively,

Bobby

From: marria gentry
Subject: dumb ass

oh how funny you dumb ass....the way you talk to women is absurd. I can understand why
you are such an asshole, it's obvious that you have never been laid and if you have it must have
been by hand. No woman would ever let you near her for fear of who knows what disease or
virus she may contact. Have a happy halloween and go begging door to door just as you are
you ugly bastard.

Dear Snot-Eating, Fart-Sucking, Ball-Licking Cunt,

I'll talk to women any fucking way I wish, understand, you subservient bitch? And as far as being laid, I've had more pussy
than your hairy-assed mother -- and that's saying a lot, you Bea Arthur concubine (before you crawl to the dictionary, concubine
means "whore," you dumb fuck).

And let me suggest a Halloween costume for you, you vagina-sucking bitch: Strip naked (like your dad does for the Mexicans on the street
corner), corn-row the hair on your lice-covered back, then walk on all fours and say "Mooooo!" like the fuckin' cow you are!

Oh, yeah, one more thing dyke: BLOW ME!

Abusively,
Bobby

From: marria gentry
Subject: stupid sub-human

my dearest bobby...

you sarcastic son of a bitch...why don't you lighten up a little bit and go
suck an egg. I've read thru some of the letters you get and have come to the conclusion that you
are a fucking half breed moron who needs his mommy's love. Problem is your mommy is a
hedgehog.....piss off walnut face.

Dear Sow Hump,

Gargle my balls, you white-trash sperm recepticle. By the way, cunt, "Maria" only has one "r" in it, not two, you illiterate bag of phlegm.

Abusively,
Bobby

From: marria gentry
Subject: idiot
my darling bobby...
since you are so rude to me I will accept that as your lack of gray matter
in the upper folds of your pecker head. Allow me to ask you something...you
are gay aren't you? that mouth of yours looks like an open invitation for
sperm catching. Also, I was wondering, do your knees get sore when that
hedgehog mounts you? you have a marvelous day you bastard.

Dear Canary Cunt Who Can't Spell "Maria" Correctly,

Am I gay? I'm not sure. I'll ask your father next time I'm shoving my 10" cock down his sperm-gargling throat, you got me, you crust-covered pussy licker?

And you want to know if my knees get sore when that hedgehog mounts me? Well, all you have to fucking do is ask me next time you mount me -- catch my drift, bitch?

Now go suck an Arab dry, whore, and then straw-spit the cum up your mother's ass.

Abusively,
Bobby

From: Rog Bachman
Subject: puke
I swear, your face looks like it's been splattered with shit directly from Janet Reno's ass. Your face needs a fuckin doush you dumb fuck !!!

Dear Shit-Covered Monkey,

First off, fuck-hole, it's "douche" not "doush," you stupid
fucking moron. Secondly, cunt drain, it's obvious you already
know what Janet Reno's shit looks like, right? So, prick, tell
us all --- "how do you know this?"

Gee, you think it might be because you've stared at Janet's
puckered bum, cock-whore??

Do America a favor, you sore-covered rectum, and put a
pipe-bomb up your ass. Oh, and one more thing, retard... before
you detonate it, sing a few bars of "America the Beautiful"... I
like hearing that song before the explosions begin. Ya got me,
there, fag?

Abusively,

Bobby

From: Rog Bachman
Subject: IK
Hey bobby....when are you going to give that baboon his ass back? your face is a replica of just that you fuckin peter breath asshole. You're not only abusive, what "cums" out of your mouth is putrid shit that looks better than that ass face of yours.

Dear Fag Who Uses ITALICS When He Writes,

If you wanted my fuckin' ass back, all you had to do was say so, camel cunt. And, hey, aren't you the same poor fuck
who can't afford a house and lives in a fuckin' apartment?

Yeah, that's you! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Looooooser!!

Bet you work at a God-damned Wendy's too, huh, you uncircumcised prick?

Now I have a deal for you, shit for brains: Send me a picture of YOUR shit-smeared mug and I'll post it and let my HOME-OWNING readers decide who's more grotesque.

Have we got a deal, you lesbian-licking maggot?

Abusively,

Bobby

From: Rog Bachman
Subject: shithooks

hey rubberdick...
know what bobby stands for varnish face? big old bastard bitch yuppie...fits your lethargic ass doesen't it peter breath? Do you have any idea what a toothbrush is, you bucktoothed looking wildabeast?....you would make a good toilet for a lifer in prison for fucking your mama in the ass. suck me off pig!!!
P.S., I accept your photo challenge....attached is my photo, prick.
Bachman

Hey, Neo-Nazi-Named Fag...
Know what Rog stands for? Big, Dumb, Fucking, Asshole. Forget the spelling, cock-whore, just savor the meaning. And I'm showing your
photo to the world, cunt. Makes me look like fucking Brad Pitt!

Abusively,
Bobby

From: Chris McCall
BOY YOU HAVE SOME BIG EARS

Dear Cunt-licker,

And you have a small dick. Your point being, fuck-face?

Abusively,

Bobby

From: thenwocollins@webtv.net

WHY ARE YOU SO UGLY FOR?

Dear Fucking English Major,
I is ugly for dumb fucks like yous to write in with retarded sentence structure, that's what for -- you stupid, fucking, illiterate, backwoods hick.

Abusively,
Bobby

From: Keith

i you wanker

Dear Two-Syllable-Wonder,

i you master. you suck me long time.

Abusively,

Bobby

From: Byron Freeman
Subject: i am nto the best speller but i admit it
you like to correct other people spelling but you spelled backwords worng

Dear One-Idea-Cocksucker,

You know, hole, I was thiiiiiiis close to not replying to your email, but when you ENDED your ONE FUCKING SENTENCE about my
correcting other people's spelling with a MISSPELLED WORD, fuck, I had no choice, cunt! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! What a dumb-fuck, backwoods whore! More HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Abusively,

Bobby

From: kristen vanpatten
Subject: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
My god, you are so ugly that the toilet must flush when you walk by!
Do you have to creep up on bath water?
Your mother must have committed suicide when you were born. I know i would.
Abusively.....Fuck you!

Kristen

My Dearest, Rotting, Cunt...

The reason the toilet flushes when I walk by is simply to deposit YOU in the nearest fuckin' ocean. Get the visual, bitch? And, yes, my mother DID commit suicide, whore.... but only after discovering that she was pregnant with you after being artificially inseminated with the sperm of a tick-covered Hedgehog.

Oh, and one more thing, Cunten... GO FUCK YOURSELF, WHORE!!!!

Abusively,

Bobby

From: Mike O'Neill
Subject: coincidence?
Hey Bob,
My wife & I used to have a retarded cat.
The poor thing was big and hairy (like your mom) and it couldn't clean its ass after it snapped one off.
It would then sit all over our apartment leaving little dime-sized crap stamps wherever it stopped.
When I saw your picture Bob, it reminded me of those nasty little souvenirs that dumb-ass cat would leave for us.
Thanks for the memory!

Dear Rectal Aneurysm,

Still living in an apartment, uh, you fuckin' loser?

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Now who's more retarded? Your cat, or you (someone who can't even afford a house!)?

More HAHAHA!!!

Abusively,

Bobby

From: Mike O'Neill
Subject: Re: coincidence?
OUCH Bob! That really stings.
You got me! I surrender.
You call this abuse?
Pretty weak you coward.
Living in an apartment hardly constitutes loser.
We've been living fine in a house for 8 years.
You sharing a trailer with your mother is a bit closer to the loser category.
Still sniffing her girdles when she's working the third shift at the toothpaste factory?
Last add Bob, your insults often refer to 'ass', 'rectum', 'fag' etc.
You're screaming for weenie Bob.
We won't tell.
Your turn little Bobby.

Dear Apartment Dwelling LOSER....

No matter what you say, you low-income fuck, at least "I" have a "house."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Now, go ask you LANDLORD if it's okay to have a goldfish as a pet, fuck-rod!
More HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Loser! Loser! Loser!!!!!!

Abusively,

Bobby

From: HUNTER JUNGERS
Subject: bitchhey cock sucker how the hell are you

you bucket of skunk piss cum suckin little bitch
i think you need your ass beat
hunter jungers
*****************************

Dear Owner of the Faggiest Name I've Ever Fuckin' Heard of in my Entire Fuckin' Life, Hunter Jungers??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! That's all I've got to say!

Abusively,
Bobby

From: HUNTER JUNGERS
Subject: Re: bitchFUCK YOU YOU LITTLE COCK SUCKIN BITCH I SHOULD BEAT YOUR FUCKIN ASS FOR WHAT YOU JUST SAID THAT WAS MY DADS NAME AND HE IS DEAD
HEY HAVE YOU EVER LOOKED AT YOUR FACE LONGER THAN 5 MIN. BECAUSE IT IS THE GROSS THING I HAV EVER SEEN
FUCK YOU, HUNTER JUNGERS
****************

Dear Son of a Dead Cock-Fucker Who Had a Faggy Name, So, Dad's being eaten up by maggots, eh?
More HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Abusively,
Bobby

From: HUNTER JUNGERS
Subject: Re: bitch

YOU NEED TO SUCK ON THE FAT END OF A 12 GAUGE

HUNTER JUNGERS

Dear Sick, Unfunny, Fuck with a Faggy Name,

Better yet, queer, how about "you" suck on the fat end of my dick? And, by the way, sissy-hole, did I mention how FAGGY your (and your dead, mealworm-infested Dad's) name is?

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Oh, one more thing turd.... I put your faggy name in my anagram program, and guess what it came out with, shithead?: "Son of a Dead Asshole."

More HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Abusively,

Bobby

From: HUNTER JUNGERS
Subject: Re: bitch
WHERE IN THE FUCK ARE YOU FROM CAUSE IM GOING TO BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOU NAPPY ASS QUEER I BET YOUR DAD MALISTED YOU WHEN YOU WHERE LITTLE DIDNT HE THATS WHY YOU ARE LIKE YOU ARE ISNT IT
BOBBY WHAT KIND OF FUCKIN NAME IS THAT
HUNTER JUNGERSA
*************************

Dear Dumber Than a Box of Hair,
First off, you stupid-fuck, it's MOLESTED.... not MALISTED, you ignorant, brain-dead, monkey. Secondly, whore, now you can't
even spell your own name correctly! HUNTER JUNGERSA??? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! What a fuckin' moron! Now, be a nice
piece of shit and go blow your goldfish, I'm far too busy to waste my time with a hemorrhoid like you.

Abusively,
Bobby

From: Val DeLuca
You're one funny son of a bitch.

Dear Homeless Whore,

Suck my dick! And while you're fucking at it, suck Janet Reno's dick!

Abusively,

Bobby

From: Tracy Link
Subject: Hey Baby
Hey Baby wanna fuck?

Dear Horny Bitch,

You can expect no fucking answer from me, whore, unless I see a God damned photo of your naked-assed body. Then,
and only then, will I reply to your dumb-fuck question. So, send a photo, cunt.

Abusively,

Bobby

From: rogerbachman
Subject: ugly
son of a bitch dude !!!! is that your face or did your pants fall down?
I've seen better faces on a festered wound...you are one ugly MF.

Dear Possessor of a Faggy Name,

Fuuuuuuck off.

Abusively,

Bobby

From: Doug Cannon
Subject: Stephen Arthur

Hey Man, I was just falling out of my chair laughing at yours and Eric's jousts with Stephen Arthur. I was just wondering if you have heard from him lately and where that finally ended. Did he just give up? He obviously didn't get what he wanted! I'm just biting my nails waiting for the FBI to shut you down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep up the great work!

Dear Nosey-Fuck...
He bailed. Split. Went adios. Took a fucking hike. Ya catch my drift,
there, pussy-drip? Good. Now go fuck a weed-whacker.

Abusively,

Bobby

From: rogerbachman
Subject: bad pussy
dude....you either ate some bad pussy or you are a walking uded kotex pad...nobody gets that ugly in a lifetime.

Dear Scum-pod who thinks "uded" is a word,

Yeah, I did eat some bad pussy. And your brother said it felt great when I did. Catch my drift, there, toilet-tongue?

And if you think *I'm* ugly take a good look at your mother's puss, you cock-faced fuck. Her mouth's had more dicks in it
than the "Book of Richard."

Abusively,

Bobby

From: BaBiThUgAnGeL
omg ur face scares me. go get a make-over. and i don't really give a damn
what u say to me. go get a fuckin life. and please don't talk too much ur
rotten teeth might fall out!

dear ms. lower-case using, minimalistic piece of shit,
ur so funny! by the way, pussy-droppings, i don't talk much. i type. so
how can my "rotten teeth" fall out, you mammary sucking, ellen degeneres
clone? do the world a favor, you lice-covered cunt, and suck on anne heche's
dick.

abusively,
bobby

Abusively,
Bobby

Hey, fuck-prod, least I don't live in an archaic country that still has a silly, fucking "Queen" as it's leader!! HAHAHAHA!!! You dumb,
limey sack of "her Majesty's Turd!" As a stupid-ass citizen of the country that got the shit kicked out of them by that military giant called the Falkland Islands (HAHAHAHA!!!!), who the fuck do you think you are to even email me? Huh, cunt?

So, you want ME to give YOU abuse, you dick-coating prick? All I have to say is "again??" Don't you remember a little thing called the "Revolutionary War?" Just to remind you, smart-ARSE, that's where we mopped the fucking floor with your British fag army. More HAHAHAHAHA!

So, go shove some tea and crumpets up you ARSE while watching "The Avengers" (the only fucking "quality" TV show you idiots
ever produced). Oh, and one more thing, your ass-sucking cocksucker... ...Prince Charles is a FAG!

Abusively,
Bobby

Dear Mr. "Clever"....

Wow. How long did your cum-filled brain spend on the painfully unfunny email you sent to me? Huh, your deep-throated camel cunt-juice tester? Do me (and the fuckin' world) a favor, you humor-deprived fuckwad -- just keeping whacking off to Pauly Shore videos and leave the "clever emails" to the adults. Ya got me, asswipe?

Abusively,

Bobby

From: Mauro Sandoval aztekprinz@msn.com
Subject: asscheese
you resemble a decaying piece of a 98 year old mans scrodum schmegma (mostly ya fathers ) that has not seen soap and water for the past 13 years. your obviously from Montana were men get sleepy counting their sexual partners ! ( SHEEP ) you corny spalding wearing crack sniffer. why's ya nose so red ? As the professional licker of ass ,that you appear to be , ya aught to know better than to engage in your talent face first on carpet !

Dear Cunt-Licking Ball of Fuck,

I'd say "go fuck yourself" but that would requiring you having a dick longer than four inches. So, instead, you rectum-diving,
pus-gargling, bucket of maggot phlegm, why don't you take my advice (assuming you can read, you fuck) and shove a straightened coat hanger up your micro-penis's canal and see if you kill your inner-child. Ya got me, cock-bite?

Abusively,

Bobby

"Fuck you."